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ST. LOUIS (NNPA) - In the good
old days, responsible parents talked to their children about
dating and sex. But these days of an ever-changing digital
world, makes it not enough, said Marilyn Maxwell, M.D., SLUCare
pediatrician and general internist.
“We first started seeing problems come
up on the Internet with online communities, like Facebook
and MySpace, and e-mail. In recent years we’ve also
seen a rise in ‘sexting’ or sending sexually explicit
cellular phone text messages,” said Maxwell, who is
a contributing author of “Questions Kids Ask about Sex:
Honest Answers for Every Age.”
“Teens perceive sexting or posting provocative
pictures and messages online as safe because they’re
not actually having intercourse. And while they intend for
these messages to remain private, we know that’s not
always the case.”
It is the parents’ job, Maxwell said,
to talk to their children and help them understand the dangers
and potential consequences of these activities – something
that many adolescents also struggle with. While this is no
easy task for parents, especially when they are competing
with the influence of their children's peers, Maxwell says
it’s important that parents not give up.
“It’s important that you let your
children know where you stand, what your values are and what
you expect of them. Your children are going to make their
own decisions, but if you’ve been clear about your expectations
and reasoning, there’s a good chance they’ll listen,”
she said.
Maxwell offers these five tips for talking
to your children about appropriate Internet and cellular phone
use.
- Educate yourself about the technology available to your
child. Get a Facebook account, send your child text messages
and try your hand at Twittering. By being an active user
of these technologies, you’ll have a better grasp
of what your children and their friends are up to.
- Talk to children about appropriate use, what messages
are OK and what to do if they receive inappropriate messages.
Explain to your children the public nature of the Internet
and even text messages and set ground rules and expectations
before giving children a cell phone or Internet access .
Let them know upfront that you will have the right to read
text messages, e-mails and other Internet communications
if you suspect there is something wrong. Parents also can
block inappropriate Web sites from the home computer, which
Maxwell recommends keeping in a common space, such as the
living room.
- Talk to your children about bullying. Ask them if they
or their friends have ever been the victim of bullying or
cyberbullying. Warn your children that bullying is a potential
consequence of sharing provocative pictures and messages
online or via text messaging, as these communications are
likely to fall into unintended hands.
- Keep the conversation going by looking for opportunities
to talk to your children about their Internet and cell phone
use. For example, if you receive a cell phone bill with
a hefty text messaging fee, talk to her about who she is
texting and why. Parents also can use stories in the media
as teachable moments to remind children about the consequences
of these activities.
- Get to know your children’s friends and their parents.
The problem with cell phones and computers is that they
are private and parents may not know who their children
are communicating with. By making your home a place where
your children and their friends feel comfortable, you’ll
get great insight into your children’s friends.
This story comes special to NNPA from the St. Louis American.
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